Don't blame the sites for trolls, but don't trust them to protect you either.

**This blog was originally posted on techsavvykids.co.uk on 17/08/13**

So, another tragic story emerges of a teen committing suicide as a result of online bullying, this time 17yr old Daniel Perry following on recently from that of 14yr old Hannah Smith. Again a social networking site is implicated - although it was noted that Skype also played a part in the Perry case, Ask.fm was cited in both and is bearing much of the blame for not monitoring its users diligently enough. While I wholeheartedly agree that any networking site that does not monitor and block users that part take in trolling or any form of bullying is effectively condoning the act, I can't help but feel that you need to apply blame to those sending the messages, not the site through which they are sent.
Whether computers, the internet and social networks exist or not, there will always be those that wish to prey on the vulnerable and they will find a way to do it. The internet has simply given the bullies a convenient appearance of anonymity and extended their reach. Social networking sites are connecting people from across the globe, and the chances are that the site that you are using is not even based in the same country as you.
When children under 13 use networking sites, by law avatars and pseudonyms must be used to protect the users privacy. This may in turn reinforce their lack of connection with those they are interacting with, so that by the time they are using social networking sites as teenagers they do not see the user on the other computer as an actual person, but as a just another fictional avatar.
What we can do though is educate our children and students to be aware of the dangers of interacting with others online as soon as they are old enough to start going online independently – and what to do if they do encounter bullying or offensive behaviour. Most sites should have a facility to flag offensive messages or block users. We must also remember that those posting the offensive messages are people too, someone’s children, possibly someone’s students. Part of teaching how to deal WITH the offensive behaviour should be teaching how TO behave when online. As with the playground, what can start off as harmless teasing can evolve into something more sinister. It is all of our responsibilities to make sure our children are taught how this behaviour affects others, as well as how it can affect them.